Sunday, June 10, 2007

A Response to Claritus

Recently, I was passed a link to Claritus' Blog, with the person who posted it telling me the writer was apparently neutral and tries to see things from both sides in regards to feminism and MRA's, the post that struck me most was this one. Which for a suppossed neutral blog, was rather biased against MRA and our plight.

Here, I am going to post my response to that post. It was meant for as a comment but due to a some weird glitch, my full comment was not properly published. However. I DID save it. So, I'll post it here instead.

This copied and pasted as is from the save file my hard drive.

Hi, someone left a link to this blog on my own so I thought I'd drop by and have a look.

I understand that your trying to remain neutral here but I couldn't help but notice there are is a lot of biased information there. I'll point them and give my commentary.

Even the dreaded feminists can manage to write a post on equality without having to resort to calling men names! I read once that ‘women should not call men dogs or bastards’. I fully agree. Women shouldn’t call men names. BUT men should be able to write a sentence without referring to the entire female population as prostitutes!

With respect that isn't true. There are plenty of MRA blogs that write posts without referring to the entire female population as prostitues.

I generally don't read feminist blogs so I can't provide accurate commentary on that issue.

This is what I’m talking about. Men’s Rights Activists seem to be labouring under a huge double standard. Feminists shouldn’t generalize men - but MRAs can generalize women! Women shouldn’t call men names - but MRAs can call women prostitutes just because some women are!

Well, if you've being the reciving end of the stick for most of your life, wouldn't you be a little angry at the people responsible to the point you start calling them names and get really cross at the world for allowing this to happen? I sure would, a lot of us MRAs are angry and rightfully so, I'm not going to blame them for calling women names.

Another thing worth nothing is that most MRAs have stated that what they say DOES NOT apply to ALL women, only MOST of them in western society.

They want women to stop having sex all the time (to the point of inserting chips into their arms so that men can tell if they want sex or not), just for the pleasure of it, (like the feminists have encouraged women to do) but they still defend the old line of ‘men are genetically hardwired to spread their seed’ meaning, basically, that men should get carte blanche to have sex with as many women as possible.

I know both men and women enjoy sex for pleasure but the problem with Promiscuity that is clearly rampant in today's soicety is that the wrong type of men benefit as a result from it. I'm talking about how the good men, the one who push themselves and want to make something of themselves are being cast aside by most women in favour of the bad boy, thug and player, types of men who provide her with excitment but are whom have no future and only live for the present.

And men ae hardwired for sex by nature, its a survival instinct. For the poor good guy, women abuse this to get things done, get money or a free meal and don't give anything in return. Do you call that fair?

You know the thing that really gets me going when I read MRA blogs? (which I don’t do much anymore, by the way - too hard on the blood pressure) Everything is the fault of women.

What do you want to blame instead, ourselves? If you look it up, most divorces are initated by women who are bored of the husband and want a change with benefits.

The case study you provided was kind of a bad example as well, in most cases, its usually the other way around and then the man is blamed for driving the women into the arms of the other man. Also, most of us MRAs would correct ourseleves if such a story came out and later details emerged like the way your desribed. I would.

I read a post, which I liked a lot, which talked about women’s rights. She said she thought women’s rights were the right to physical protection and safety, the right to emotional protection and safety, and the right to respect.

Almost all MRAs have no problem with this ideal. What we DO have a problem with is when laws come in telling companies that they'd need to hire a certain amount of women or risk getting sued, even if its clear that men are far more work focused and suited for that type of job than women amongst other laws that descriminate against males and the assumption that males are ' guilty until proven innocent ' and that all females are ' victims ' and that all men are ' oppressers '

In the MGTOW manifesto, it says men are going to expect respect from women. Nowhere does it say that they will give equal respect TO women. Is this fair? No. Another example would be women who get drunk, have sex, then claim they were raped. Now, according to some posts and comments I’ve read, the women should take responsibility, and not have sex, or even, and this was very recent, that women should have a chip inserted into their arm which glows different colours so that men will know if she actually wants to have sex or not. Why don’t men just not have sex? There’s a shocker. Why don’t men take some responsibility.

I thought that kind of thing in regards to respect would be would be autimatically assumed. Women give us men the respect we deserve and we will return the favour.

And like I said, the type of men that most young women in the west spend thier prime years hanging out with men don't know responsibility! The good men are responsible and looked what happened to them, they get brushed aside!

Another one. Women want to walk down the street without guys leaning out their car windows and yelling, making hand gestures, and basically making them feel very uncomfortable and unsafe.

If thats the case, then the woman should dress in a more respectable fashion, like you siad and generally speaking, the type of who do this are more often than not, the type of men who don't know responsibility if it hit on them on the head!

on a feminist website, and one of the comments from the women on the debate said something to the effect of if women should have to watch the way they dress, then men should exercise the ability to keep their mouths shut

With all due respect, we have kept our moths shut for 40 years while the feminist movement flourished and we got screwed over. Ditto in regards to the type of men who can't keep thier mouths shut around attrative women!

No. Fair exchange is no robbery. If women should look at the way they are dressing and curtail themselves for the benefit of men, then men could at least extend us the courtesy of treating us like human beings, not slabs of meat on show for their approval and delight.

We will, most of us MRAS would do just that if that occurred but remember what I've siad about the type of men who can't keep thier mouths shut!

There’s a saying that men are looking for someone to mother them, when they look for a partner, someone to look after them. After looking at these blogs, I have to say that this saying might be right after all - these men certainly don’t seem to want to take responsibility for their actions.

So men are nothing more than irresponsible, lazy slubs? I know you don't mean it like that but in essense, most of us men know how to look after ourselves quite well.

So, I gave you my commentary on this post, I hope it isn't too unreasonable, I tried to be as fair as possible in my commentary and don't mean to offend you. At least its written in a way that won't start any trouble and for that, Kudos to you.



claritus said...

Thank you very very much. Can I get a link to your blog? I do want to learn about the MRA movement.

By the way, not to put too fine a point on it, I have taken a lot of stick all my life, and I am very very angry. I know how that feels, believe me.

As I think I said in response to one of the comments, I'm going to be writing a post on abortion, from a neutral point of view, drop by and see that before you judge me completely.

(sneak preview) I remember having a conversation with one of my friends from school on the subject of abortion, and he was talking about how it shouldn't be all the woman's choice - if there is a man involved, part of the decision should be his, because of course, it is his child!

I'm going to be exploring that. The post was meant to go up about a month ago (!) but I found some more information and decided to include that.

Anonymous said...

The whole argument is ridiculous - men and women are supposed to live alongside each other, not spend their lives bickering. The feminist movement has taken things too far down the "political correctness" route and damaged many men's confidence in their masculinity by devaluing it. What woman *really* wants a man "in touch with his feminine side?" Most women drive me up the wall (and strangely I am one) - I for one certainly don't want to see men acting just like women.

Should a man have a say in abortion - I think he should, but as someone with a female body, I admit it would make me feel quite uncomfortable that someone could force me to have a child; but if I'm responsible in preventing pregnancy, the problem shouldn't arise. Perhaps it would make women take more responsibility, instead of allowing many to play the victim while the blame is his and the choice is hers.

However, a woman also has the right to choose whether she wants to choose the set feminine role or not. -Hopefully choosing rightly for her own nature, rather than to be self-righteous or PC. It's not for me; I swear I should have been born a guy, but I wasn't.

I don't make a very good woman, so I'm not going to try too hard at it, but thst doesn't make me a feminist either. I'm all for people having the same opportunity to try... though I don't think standards should be dropped for women, or special consessions introuduced in anything, including for women who want to have their cake and eat it, at the expense their family and their career. No one can have everything in life.

I don't believe women should be keeping up a job while bringing up their kids just so they can be a "modern woman". I'm useless with kids, so I'll stick with more traditionally "masculine" occupations myself, but I honestly think that for *most* women, the drive to have kids is stronger. Families aren't going to die out just because extreme feminists seem to hate men, when there are ladies out there who want you guys. I like real men, but only those *not* looking for a family, as I know what I'm good for and what I'm not!

I don't believe men should be treated negatively, or ridiculed by women for not having a "feminine side" from what I know of the modern "feminine side" it seems to involve wasting a lot of money on clothes, shoes and other fashionable tripe. Traditional femininity? Being at your man's side, and being caring, intuitive and gentle. It's not me, but it looks better than what most women are choosing.
Yes, you've just found a non feminist "tomboy".

bignasty said...

"Yes, you've just found a non feminist "tomboy".

Well, I think I've just found my soulmate! :)

Anonymous said...

Well, I sure don't get it. The big problem between men and women today is that 40% of marriages in the US end up in divorce, usually filed by the woman, and studies show there is not much fighting, and most divorce doesn't involve DV. Divorced fathers are 50% of the time prevented from seeing their kids, and false sex abuse charges are becoming SOP as part of divorce.

So, many of us no longer care if there are good women or not. The problem is, if we make a mistake, we are destroyed, and it simply is not good enough odds. Better to stay away from women altogether, or leave the country.

When MRA's are criticized, the critics really don't want to talk about the real causes of the MRA movement. They want to talk about things such as our attitude, as if the only problem is us and women are such saints.

Anonymous age 65

Ann said...

Thanks for your valuable contribution!