Thursday, August 16, 2007

NHY's Personality Test Results and The Future

Luke Skywalker over at Siberia Rocks posted a personality assessment of himself, so I decided to follow suit and here are my results.



Full Result Page

Honestly, This test result does describes me quite well at this present time in my own life. Apart from being an Advocating Experiencer, its acknowledges that I’m stuck in a bit of a rut at present. I have a LOT of work to on myself.

Before I go any further, I know that this blog often reads like a rant about my life but unlike many other MRAs, I’m comfortable about talking about it ( Not that I find fault for them for not wanting to talk about their lives ) and I’m aware that feminists and manginas will try and use this against both me and the MRM. If your such a feminist or mangina, I’ve got 3 words for you, to quote the late, great Fred X: ‘ UP YOURS FEMCUNT! ‘

Anyway, I love the idea of new experiences and hate routine and it bores me very quickly. Little wonder, that I’ve nearly driven myself daft this summer over the chronic LACK of such experiences. I’m also able to see the bigger picture and just nod my head in pity for those narrow minded people who only live for the weekend without ever really thinking of the future!

It also said that I’m highly compassionate and seem to know what people are thinking and how they feel. Pity the people I deal with in my daily life are generally such fucking assholes that I’ve stop being so compassionate, that is sad.

However, it’s the glossary of traits that I don’t like but its rings true. While in black and white here, it might look I have balls, in real life, I’m not so brave. I have low self - confidence and don’t have much faith in myself at present. I’m fucking afraid of doing this thing or that thing because I don’t want to upset the peace, I don’t want to be asked questions I hate answering by parents. There is stuff I want to buy off the internet but I’m afraid of using my home address as I don’t want my family looking at my stuff in any shape or form or asking me what the stuff is. Man, I should just say ‘ Fuck it ‘ and just order the bloody thing already!

I should just go back to that crap part time job so that I can save some money and regain control of my finances, instead of having to count on parents for money which makes me their bitch to be used as a free babysitter, house decorator, errand runner ( even though they were just down town ) and so on.

It also told me that I believe that other things, not me, control my life. That is true, it often feels that everyone controls me, except fucking me! My family is especially bad at this for the reason I listed above. My brother constantly harasses me to get a job, even thought he probably never known what is like to be in a situation where your can’t get a job because all the foreigners have taken them, that place only hire women and probably don’t even bother to read my CV or you can’t even get a chance to hand out CVs! Its makes me feel bad about a situation that I honestly have very little control over!

I admit I was pretty once much a full blown mangina who would bend over backwards for women so hence, that’s why my masculinity is only at 50 and my Femininity is 38! ( That’s too high for me, if you ask ) Thankfully, I’m very open to new things so I was able to save myself before I ended up becoming a wage slave to some skank!

Damn, this isn’t really encouraging, I’m trying to embrace MGTOW but right now in this part of my life, its more like MSOTA - Men Sitting On Their Ass! Its not easy for me. To be honest, my summer fucking SUCKED. My Jaw Operation in June did indeed go well and was worthwhile but that one thing messed up my entire summer, I missed the period to get a job, had nothing to do for the summer. Basically, I’ve being stuck in a rut and I’m not happy with myself because of that.

My parents think I hate them because of their drinking. Its not so much that, its really the total lack of RESPECT they show me, they’d completely dis - regard what I say or how I feel. Seriously, I don’t trust them because of the whole ‘ You too old to play Mario and Sonic because but you most instead become a man, work a job you hate, hide your feelings, suppress your desires and become an alcoholic like us and then justify that by any reason necessary ‘ thing that continues to this day. FUCK THAT! I hate having to be paranoid and keep my eye out for them when I play those games on the computer.

THINGS HAVE GOT TO CHANGE!

I have go to stop being such a fucking coward and just shout out to the world ‘ FUCK THIS, I AM GOING MY OWN WAY! ‘ And start living my life on my own terms, not the unrealistic terms of some misguided family member. Even if it causes me discomfort, I need to just fucking do it and don’t worry about the stupid questions I’d get asked or how I’d think others would disapprove, they won’t and they more than likely don’t care.

At least things are going to improve when I go back to college as I will be a student leader for the incoming 1st years. In fact, I’ve already decided that following this fiasco a few months back, to assume I’m uninvited to any future class parties or house parties unless I’m told otherwise, ignore pleas for help from those who don’t like me and just do my own thing in college, like I did in 1st year.

I also have plans to travel to North America next summer ( Yes, I know but give me a break, I want to see the place ‘ before its gone ‘ ) I’m thinking of somewhere in Canada to base myself for the summer so that is something to work towards to, I guess and I will make sure I have the means to do it.

Listen, fellow MRAs and MGTOW, if your like me, stuck in a rut, feeling trapped and don’t know what to do, JUST GO YOUR OWN WAY. Don’t care what your parents, ‘ friends ‘ ( true friends will understand, anyone else should be dropped like Windows Vista! ) , the community or anyone else says. if its feels right to you, then just do it! Are you’re a unique, independent thinking human being or just another one of the sheep being led to the slaughter?

Until Next Time,

NHY

1 comment:

patriarchal phoenix said...

Hey, I'm a long-time lurker, first-time poster.

I too wanted to shout out to the world that I was going my own way at one point, but after I thought about it a little bit, I decided against it.

It's no one else's business what you or I do with our lives.

I've opted to quietly go my own way. If no one notices me, I consider that a win.

I'm about your age, and in a similar situation to the one you described (Although, rather than Great Britain, I'm on the other side of the planet, smack dab in the middle of North America.).

Remember, time is on your side. Work hard, and try to live below your means.

Put up with the crap life throws at you, and roll with the punches. Sooner or later, if you stick to going your own way, the punches will get less and less frequent, and eventually disappear altogether.

And most importantly: Have Fun.

If playing Mario is what brings you joy, spend your free time doing that. Don't even bother telling the rest of the world to F' off. Just do it. If others complain, ignore them, or politely tell them to go away. At least that's what I've done, and your hobby of video games is normal by comparison to what I do in my free time.

--Later