I Am Awake

My balls most be growing. For starters, I no longer really care about ever having a relationship with women, I’ve come to accept the fact I’ll never be in a relationship and have adapted accordingly. Thank you, women! Your selfish nature has awoken another male who will now live happily ever after as a Bachelor. Fishing, travelling, playing video games and all the type of stuff that if I married, would never get to do.

I can actually look forward to seeing the world now and taking my time while I’m at that! I will be able to start that video game collection that I know I will start when I leave the family home. I can live simply and humbly, even if I make more than 500k a year! Besides, what’s the point in buying all this useless junk that advertising literally demands we buy? I’ll buy what I need to get me by in life, nothing more. That’s not to say I won’t spoil myself every now and again but I have something many modern western women don’t have; Self - Control.

I will never own a credit card or at least not use it unless its an emergency. I will not bury myself in credit. Again its all down to self control. Why throw away your future for the sake of looking good in the present? Only cowards giving into peer pressure would do that!

I was in Bulgaria with the family last week, I brought various things on the cheap, one of which was a bootleg GBA cart with 100 odds games, mostly NES games but it also had 2 GBA games in it, one of which was Super Mario Bros 3. If you have being following this blog, you’ll know that my family think shouldn’t be playing those type of games because they are too childish and I need to grow up and cop on and be more responsible and sensible. In other words, become another drone who hates their life and feels trapped - NO FUCKING THANKS.

The worst they can do is use shaming tactics, that’s all they really are. Don’t think for one second that femi - nazis are the only people who resort to using shaming tactics when someone says or does something they don’t like! Alcoholics will use them against their children, drug addicts will use them against their friends who are trying to help them and so on and so forth.

The whole point of shaming tactics is to try and justify something that even they know deep down is in actual fact, wrong! It doesn’t matter if the person tells you about how hard their life was in comparison to yours, if they are using it to try and shame you into stop attacking them for their wrong - doing, its still shaming tactics.

Anyway, I think this is going to snowball. I’ve being too scared to spend my own money on such games because my family would attack with shaming language if I did. This actually happened when I brought Pokemon Red when I was 13, I was shamed by everyone in the family into returning it that day! Little wonder I felt like a doormat for years! To be quite honest, I’m still rather pissed off about the whole thing, especially since they hardly show restraint themselves when it came to drinking! Quite frankly, they are all living in a fantasy world where they think everyone has to suppress their emotions and desires, be dull and lifeless, work at some job they hate and then end up wasting all the money on shit they don’t need or drinking it every weekend!

Seems like I’m going to have to deliberately piss them off by going and buying some Mario or Sonic game for my DS and then watch their reaction, in fact it will probably cause a row but fuck it, I’m not going to live by that stupid BS double standard rule anymore, I’m NOT 13 anymore for crying out loud! Who knows, they might respect me more if I seriously put my foot down on this issue once and for all!

In a way, I could say that now, more than ever, I am happy to be MGTOW. I know what a lot of people think of me as being weird and odd but something tells me these same people will be wishing they spent less time mocking me and more time paying attention to me in just a few years! Ah well, its in herd nature to shun those who refuse to follow it so fuck them all, I am awake, I am going my own way.

I ended up becoming an MRA because I wanted answers, not excuses. I saw the double standards, impossible ideals that I was expected to live up but knew I couldn’t. I’m sure everyone who is an MRA or truth seeker of any kind started off just wanting answers because they have become frustrated at how things were so stacked against them and they knew this wasn’t right and eventually, they wanted answers and so began the truth seeking.

I am still learning, we all are. I’ve had a particularly rough summer where I felt as if everything was out of my control and I could do nothing about it. It was more of a transitional period, my sub - conscious mind was working on a new operating system for my conscious mind to replace the old, worn out one and its only now, as I return to college for my 2nd year of my Graphic Design course that it has come into effect.

As I have documented before, many of the people in my year see me as a threat or had a way of manipulating me to boast their own egos. Many of those who didn’t take kindly to this at the start of the year eventually sold both me and themselves out because these same people are the ‘ popular ‘ types in my year as well. Herd mentality at its best, don’t you say?

But you know what? Fuck it. I’ve already resolved to never go to any class party ever again because I refuse to give those people any more ammunition than they already have. Besides, all they are piss ups and I don’t drink anyway. The worst offenders will also not be getting any help off me - PEROID, even if they desperately need it. You reap what you show, you know.

Yes, I know that is pretty much what they want in the first place ( save me dropping out or failing a year ) and I KNOW I will feel like crap sometimes because of this decision but in the long run, it will save my sanity and give people less ammunition to fire at me for whatever stupid BS they think of!

I will make my own way in this world. As ( almost ) everyone is out there having a good time and only thinking about the present. I will be busy planning for my future. I’m aware that I am alone in doing this and that I will often be friendless ( as if I don’t know how that feels already! ) but I’ll keep going.

My fellow MRAs, we all have our ups and downs. Sometimes things are going good, sometimes it looks like the world is going to collapse on you. But alas that is what makes us HUMAN, that we can have all these feelings in the first place. That is what matters. Feminism, Marxism and all the others are attempts by the Elites to suppress and destroy human emotion, they want to bring us back to the level of animals. Is that what we really want? Do we really want to live in a world of perpetual childhood? Or do you want something more than that?

Until next time,

NHY